Six Pack: 2011

October 7 was Jamison's 16th birthday. I don't think I can describe how hard it is to buy a few things to decorate his grave, rather than stuff he undoubtedly would have been bugging me to get for his birthday. What a hard day, in so many ways. The pain of "If he were here...." was much deeper than normal. That day was supposed to be a celebration of his arriving on this earth. It's hard to reconcile the emotions of having held him for the first time and also the last, in this life.

But it was a good day too. We celebrated in a way he would have loved: with all the family and friends who wanted to come!

We had hot dogs & hamburgers, salads, and of course, cake and ice cream.

As a tribute to him, I want to share the story of his birth. We were glad when Friday, October 6, 1995 dawned with nice weather. Sean & I had been planning all week that we'd meet Mom & Dad at Farmington Pond for some fishing that evening. It was still a week before my actual due date, and all the hoping and vacuuming I'd been doing since my sister Diane had had her baby two weeks previously, hadn't done the slightest good. So we were looking forward to catching some fish. The contractions woke me up about 2:30 that morning. They were just small twinges for awhile. By afternoon, I was still feeling them, and they were getting a little more insistent. I called Mom. "How are you feeling? Do you think we should cancel?" she asked. "No, let's still plan on it. I'm just waiting anyway, and I might as well be doing something!" I packed a bag for the hospital and we met Mom & Dad at the pond that evening. The contractions were gradually getting more painful and more regular, but I was determined to go have a good time. We cast our lines out...and I caught the first fish! I clearly remember pulling that first fish in. After that the contractions worsened. I would start reeling and have to double over and wait for the pain to subside before finishing bringing in a fish.

I don't remember how long we stayed at the pond, probably one to two hours. When the contractions were close and strong enough that we were pretty sure they'd continue, Sean & I left and drove to Salt Lake Regional Hospital in Salt Lake. The nurses checked to see how far along I was; I was completely relieved that they didn't have to send me home. (That had been a big fear of mine, after hearing stories in our prenatal classes of women heading to the hospital too early and being sent home to wait for the real labor to come. Of course, with Sean by my side, he'd had standing instructions to not let me do that!) Sean's parents stopped by an hour or so after we got there, to lend moral support and wish us well. Don't believe anyone if they tell you labor is fun. It isn't. And it doesn't help when the epidural they give you doesn't work. My doctor, Dr. Dave Theurer, wasn't on call that night, but he had the nurses call him so he could come in for me. I was so glad when he showed up about 3 am, because it meant it wouldn't be much longer! Dr. Theurer gave me a spinal block since the epidural wasn't working. What a relief. The baby's face was turned the wrong way, and he had to adjust things so they'd come out properly. I was grateful to have an experienced doctor! Jamison Sean Tuckett was born Saturday, October 7 at 3:48 am. He weighed 7 lbs, 12 oz, and was 21 inches long. He had blue eyes and just a fuzz of blond hair. We hadn't officially "found out" what we were having in the ultrasounds, and were delighted that we had a son!